Liz, I feel concern sometimes that you often begin replies with "Funny, but..." or "You know what's funny about that..."
I know it's a common turn of phrase, but almost all of what you describe here is decidedly not 'funny' - either in the ha-ha sense or the surprising sense of the word. And phrases like that have a way of diminishing the impact of your conversations (as you report them) with your AH.
I don't know if you ever go back a re-read old threads of yours, but if you did you might see how very little of the information you get from these conversations reads as new. You two seem to keep treading over the same ground and not really getting anywhere.
I truly hope all of you find a way through this maze and soon. Sending you strength and courage, as always.