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Old 07-29-2013, 08:06 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Florence
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
I don't know. As time goes on, it just reveals how cold STBXAH is about me and the life we had here. For the longest time we were all operating under the guise that he was doing his best with the very real disease he has. Everything was super friendly despite the circumstances. It wasn't a marriage by any means, but we were capable of real civility.

When I filed for divorce, he turned on a dime and decided I was a controlling bitch and everything would have been good if it weren't for me. I guess maybe it wasn't that different than before -- as long as I sucked it up and never brought up hurt feelings or a need to resolve a conflict or a need for him to do something, he was Mr. Nicey-Nicey. As soon as I hint that his acknowledging his alcoholism isn't a stand-in for actual responsible behavior, he lashes out at me until I back away or shut up. His family backs him up and accepts his narrative as gospel truth. Things 1 & 2 above are good examples of that.

I'm still shocked about the coldness toward the pets and my son. And I wonder how that bodes for DD2.

Edited to add: I haven't requested that they visit with DS13 either. I've kind of taken a passive role with him and his family because 1) they don't want my input, and 2) I wanted to know how they would be without my pushing and pulling. I guess I know now, but damn.
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