Originally Posted by DesertEyes

One of my "alanoid issues" is that I forget the bad times. When I get lonely for the good times I had with my ex I know it's time to get to a meeting, or call my sponsor, or do _something_ because I am starting a "codie slip" into a world that never was. Especially on days when my health is poor and all I can do is lie on the bed and wait for tomorrow.

My recovery depends on remembering _both_ the good times as well as the bad. When I do that, my memory of the past becomes real, and I can be grateful for the good times, and at the same time be grateful that I'm out of that mess.

Anytime I want I can drive down to certain neighborhoods and find somebody who, for a fee, will hang around so I am not alone. Except that won't solve my problem, it just covers it up. My problem is that I confuse company for companionship. I think that just because there is a person in the room with me it somehow means there is a person _with_ me. I have learned that dysfunctional people are just in the room, they are not _with_ me in any way.

Somewhere on SR I saw a little slogan that works for me:

I would rather _be_ alone,
than _wish_ I was.

Mike