mamasmitty

Good morning to all. I just want to compare notes here. I will spare a lot of details, because you all know how things can be with our AH's. But what do you think of a man who is basically a good guy, works a full (sometimes more) time job, takes care of all his bills, makes sure no one in the family goes with out money, etc, but cannot go a day without drinking? He is sober all day at work, but as soon as he hits the door at 4 or 4:30, he heads straight for the bottle! I work 3 12 hour shifts Monday - Wednesday, and by the time I get home at 6pm, he is drunk and slurring his words! Last night I got home, and he had made dinner (oh yes, he cooks dinner too) and he was just sitting there eating, not saying a word. When I would talk to him, he would give me a one word, barely audible answer. Finally I asked him if he was upset with me or something, and he said, "Nooo!" I think he wasn't talking because he knew if he did, I would know how drunk he was! (slurring) I ate, then went to the kitchen to wash dishes, and he kept coming up behind me and hugging me. A couple of times he would come up and just hover around me while I was doing something. When I get home on these nights, I don't have a lot of time. 3 hours to be exact, because I go to bed at 9pm so I can get up at 3am! When he is that drunk, I think he feels bad about himself or something and hovers because he wants me to give some kind of signal that its ok, or that he's not a bad person or something. That irritates the hell out of me! I just don't want to be around him when he is like that, so I make things to do for myself so that I seem too busy to sit down with him. All I want to do on those nights is come home, eat, and do the few things that I HAVE to do, maybe have an hour to myself to unwind, and NOT be pestered into coddling his insecure emotions! Of course then he gets the attitude of "look at everything I do for you" (i.e.: cooking, paying most the bills, etc) I never throw it back at him, but because he does all that, I do the laundry and clean the house. But I refuse to get into a childs argument of "Look what I did" "Well look what I did" thing! I know he is not near as bad as a lot of you have it. One member recently said that she took her husband to a Christmas dinner, and he pees himself! How humiliating for her! Well, mine didn't do THAT, but when I took him to my art league dinner, he was already drunk, and headed straight for the bar when we got there! I had one mixed drink, and that was all I was going to have. Well, he went back to the bar and (without asking me) brought me back a double shot of whisky!!!!! I didn't drink it. I had to drive! (He won't drive when he is drunk because of an ONVI he got about 3 years ago, so I had to drive. Even though it would have been nice to be taken somewhere) That’s another thing. Our outings are becoming based around his drinking. Either I have to drive, or we don't go anywhere!
Well, I'm done ranting. I just want to know what you all think. Is this the start of something worse to come? Is this the first stage of a bigger problem? What do you think?