Musings on Living Alone
There have been a lot of posts lately about the adjustments to living alone.
I don't know anyone who has left an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional relationship, and who has had a chance to adjust to living alone, that has regretted it, or felt that being alone is worse than the loneliness of an alcoholic relationship.
I think a lot of the resistance to leaving has to do with the idea that leaving means we are doomed to be alone forever, that no one will ever love us again, and that we will be miserable on our own. That people will JUDGE us and think there is something WRONG with us if we don't have a partner. We envision those pathetic images of "spinsters," lonely and bitter.
That SOOO isn't true. I come and go pretty much as I please. I eat what I want, when I feel like it. I listen to music and watch TV and movies that please ME. If I have a mess, it's because I made it (well, the cats are sometimes the guilty parties). The stuff I pick out for my house reflects what I like, not what someone else wants. If I want to buy something, I consult my own bank account and don't have to ask anyone's permission but my own. If I feel like taking a little trip on a whim, I can do that. If I am out with a friend I don't have to hurry home because someone is waiting for me to get back.
Once in a great while, I think, wow, this would be easier if I had someone to help me. Those times are few and far between. And if I need help, I ask a friend or hire someone to do it.
I won't say I will NEVER share my daily life with someone again, but really, my happy existence doesn't require it. I don't know anyone who feels sorry for me because I live alone, but I know a number of people who envy me my freedom.
I'm not suggesting for a second that everyone should live alone. My point really is that being alone is not a sentence to be endured. I am not in solitary confinement. I have friends at work and in AA. I like my neighbors. I have no difficulty finding people to be around when I want company. And after decades of trying to be what other people wanted me to be, I'm finding that I sorta like ME. I'd forgotten who that person really was.
Just some musings based on some of the stuff I've been reading here lately.