Thread: Update on AH
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Old 07-24-2013, 05:34 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
BoxinRotz
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
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I'm kinda in your shoes with my AH. He suffered a brain bleed too on 7/3. I have also seen memory loss but I can't say for sure if it was the head injury or the vodka. I can say it's a little of of both.

We have 20 years between us. I have been thinking more and more, if he continues on this path and does not change, that I will also be a full time care giver. I remember when we first got serious that a fear of his was that I would have to be his caregiver. If we made it, I would do it because he was good to me and I would do this. These are special circumstances when loving a spouse who is much older than you.

Then after marrying him, the alcohell came to light. I have a dear friend who owns a care home n she told me how her husband is a RA. She said, if you stay the course, don't feel shame in placing him if you can't do it anymore. I think about that all the time. I have the experience and thepatience to do the work involved in providing top notch care. But... will I be able to keep him home even after the crap he's pulled? That question remains to be seen.

What I willdo now is take care of me. You must do that too. It is not selfish. If anyone is selfish, it is the A's in our lives but they cannot see it. We don't know what the future holds but we can put our best foot forward and find peace andhappiness, even if it's 12 hours at a time. Take your respite with the kitty shows. Enjoy it!!! You deserve to find happiness even though he doesn't or can't partake.
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