Liferecovery - thank you so much for your post!
Exactly, I've just realized that I should plan my fun and relaxing time as much as I plan all other activities.
I realize that eating habits are not changing overnight, and it's long run and long-term goal. And mostly I am ok with that. It's just ... I'm freaking out because it's such a self-sabotage. Anyway, I should be easier on myself..
Thank you)