Well, in active adddiction, I had GFs..friends with benifits...girls who wanted to spend time with me....I was like 199 pounds hooked on Oxys,crack and alcohol. Now that I am trying real hard...dress nice...nothing but a kind gentleman, I get no where!!!! this does not make sense to me...let's be honest, N.A rooms are the same all across North America (people hooking up...girls that are easy etc etc) I chair meetings and bring a lot of charsima and charm to the rooms, I just don't understand God's plan for me, I am only human and I am only a male, I did not give up drugs to also give up my sex life...and when you take out the drugs and not on the hunt thinking about drugs 24/7, I feel like I am 18 again........Now, I am a smart guy, and I know this sounds like a pity party, but like they say in the rooms, "but it is the truth for me", and I am thinking of taking my will back..smoking a fat joint and looking up to the sky and saying, "**** you god". I am not affraid to die either..my intentions are good, and he knows the real me..I am just so confused and feel so ugly....Can any males 100% relate to me on this??