I can only answer from my experience with my ex. I don't believe he was capable of truly loving me. He thought he loved me, and said he loved me all the time, but the alcohol always came first. In the end he chose the alcohol over me.
Loving someone means being able to put their needs above your own. An alcoholic's need to drink is so great it trumps all. Loving someone means you respect them, but I think an alcoholic has lost so much respect for himself, that he is incapable of respecting someone else.
So, no, I do not think an addict can really love his wife in the true sense of the word.
I'm sorry you are going through this.