if you really see who he is now then you just have to go through your own withdrawals...be kind to yourself, get lots of love and support where you can find it and keep processing here...now you will understand why a lot of us have hundreds and thousands of posts...we all need help and support and love. it just isn't easy to quit the addiction...our own that is.
that's why there are meetings and websites and books and movies and everything else...
we all need support
we all know how hard it is
but it is so much much harder to stay in relationship with someone who is addicted to crack
the sooner you start the process the sooner you will get better!
I started here in November 2012 and it was not easy...but now I feel so so so so much better. life is good. life is good. life is GOOD!! SO so so so so much better.
and back then I was devastated and heart broken. I just had to trust those who had gone before me, that it would get better. And believe me...it most certainly does.
thank god I made the decision.
and I still think about him...and that is okay. he lives in my heart now and that is okay.
god bless him...I know he is still suffering and struggling, but that is not my life any more.
peace.