rry1177

I’ve never told anyone about the extent of my enabling and codepency. My family knows a tiny bit. I don’t have anyone to tell but you guys. I’m doing this to remind myself that THIS is exactly what this relationship is and to warn anyone who is early in a relationship like this. Just get out now, because it only gets worse.

I “helped” him with:
*House payment
*Car repair
*Truck repair
*Truck battery
*Spent way more time with him than I should have. I have a son and he was 14 when I met ABF. I am still struggling with guilt over time missed with him. ABF never asked to meet my son. I just eventually introduced them.
*Gave him some $ and dumped him. Why?? Because I didn’t want him to suffer and not be able to pay the bills. Truth.
*Broke up for 7 months.
*Paid when we went out. If we didn’t go to the bar he liked, he always had a comment when I planned the night.
*Paid his deposit and first months rent on his apartment. Why?? My alcoholic mother was living with me at the time and there was no room for him. SHE is a whole ‘nother story.
*Broke up again for 3 months.
*Wanted me back, and said he had been working and was doing better. I bought an investment property and we got back together. He helped me fix it up. He also moved into my house.
*He bought a truck with his earnings and didn’t go back to work. Says the guy never called him back. I don’t believe that.
*I paid for a new transmission. Truck still wasn’t right. He sold it for a profit. Didn’t give me any money back that I put into truck.
*He bought another gas guzzler and decided he would do courier work. Driving a 20 yr old conversion van. I gave him gas money, so his work cost me.
*Sold the property a year later and broke even.
*The van got stolen…I think. My cousin thinks he ditched it and claimed theft. At this point I don’t put it past him, because he called the insurance company right away. Dumdum took the cheap route and was only paying for liability.
*I bought him a truck for $1400. He complains about gas, but he chose it.
*Wanted to do “online marketing”. Had a $10 service fee coming out of my checking monthly. It took 7 months of me asking off and on to stop it. He finally did. In the meantime, his license got suspended because he wasn’t paying the minimum child support amount of…..$10.
*I invested in a small cleaning franchise $1,755. Why? Because I was desperate for him to work.
*I got a new credit card. He picked up the envelope and said “huh” as if saying “Oh that’s interesting”. He NEVER looks at bills.
*-Sunday, he asked me for $15 for gas. I gave him $20. I wanted to kick myself in the butt. Monday, I called him round 12:45. He had been drinking. I could hear it in his voice.
I thank God for that phone call, because I was about to tell him about another investment property I saw. I’m not buying anything.

****When I said that I’d like a new stove and washer, he said let’s wait until we move into our new house. I don't know where this new house was coming from. I keep thinking about that when the washer is dancing across the floor. Guess what y’all? I’m bout to buy ME a new washer and stove.

I haven’t kicked him out because I was worried that he would become homeless. Then I remembered he has friends who have a floor. I’m working on getting over this crazy fear of kicking him out. Please pray that I gather the strength to eventually end this relationship. I'm reading Codependent No More while he's at school.