Thank you for the support.It is very hard at times. I think it is partly because I still have lots of old programs running in my head. Iam not an ace at kicking the beast to the curb yet, but I figure with practice I will get better. I have followed you guys on here for a bit, I feel like you are becoming friends already. My books came today- the RRTNC book and a new book called The Craving Brain. I just woke up (work nights) and it looks like I will have time to read tonight. I DO still feel unsure of myself and the separation thing is awkward- The av is at a constant level of white noise in my head but at least I am not white knuckling at this point. jkb- I read your thread and although I know all thoughts of use are beast, I want to say that I thought the part where you used again and wanted to give up gave me a lot of hope. I like the concept that I don't lose whatever time I manage to get. I have failed miserably so many times that I have a lack of belief in the long term at this point. That having been said- I have more hope than I've had in a long time. I want to leave the alchohol behind-my addiction does not. It is remarkable to me that I had already separated the two myself. I told my husband a few days ago-It is hard to bulid a secure fence when the other part of you knows where the weaknesses are. AVRT lets me know the weak spots and still defend my fence accordingly. I have already gotten so much help here. Thank you all. Sorry so long, I am usually not much of a talker. I am going to read my books and look forward to the BP.
