trappeshot

Okay. I will have a year clean here a week from tomorrow.

Here is my problem. I 'can't sleep. This is my3rd time getting off drugs, the longest i've ever been clean, never had this problem.


The day i got out of rehab my first time i was good to go.

PRetty much the same deal the 2nd time.

But this last go round i used for almost 3 years, i used a lot of drugs and about.. 6 months before i gave it up i noticed that i had to use sleep aids to get to bed. For a while when i got off the dope (Crack cocaine) that's the only way i could sleep.

here is the real problem. I"m in drug court. I"m kicking ass in drug court, more than half way done with it, i will be done with all the classes in the first week of January. No failed tests, nothing. straight arrow. BUT, my PO doesn't want me taking over the counter meds, beucase she fears i might abuse them.
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and up until now i've complied with that. i do what i'm told to do for the most part. But this is affecting every area of my life now. i can't make the money i am used to making beucase i can't ever work a full work week because i'm tired. i build websites for a living and i don't have the type of job that i can go to work with groggy. if i can't think i can't work.

and truth be told i don't want to use over the counter aids for a perminiume slution, when i first got in drug court i was taking 5-6 equate sleep pills at a time and i was useless the next day.

ZZquill works perfectly but i can't take it because it has alcohol n it.

I don't know what to do. last week, i HAD to have a good day wedneady so I broke down and took 1 equte sleep pill, was out like a light, kicked ass on wedneday. i tried to go to bed normal on thursday and i might have gotten 3 hours of sleep. so i didnt' work thursday. i took 2 pills, not beucase of tolerance but beucase i needed to be in bed faster, thursday night, woke up, kicked ass on friday.

friday i talked ot my massause and she recommended some herbal stuff from the health market, i spent 20 bucks on it, might as well be drinking water didn't work, so yesterday i was useless. last night i tried to take a bath in epsom salt and take 2 melatonin pills, didn't work.

when i first got clean, i could not go to sleep at all. now i can go to sleep but i am the lightest sleeper on earth and ic an't stay sleep and every once in a while i am real aggitated like i hae bad nerves and i can't even go to sleep i'm like that righ tnow


what my plan is, i know the equate pills won't show up on a drug screen, i want to take them for 1-2 weeks.. that's enough to where i won't build up any real tolerance, then take y butt to a doctor and get some type of medication.

but i really don't want to take any pills if i have to but right now it looks like i have to. this is serious.

what's really frustrating is that when i got clean i weighted like 225 pounds. i have kicked ass in the gym and now i'm about like 185-195. i will have a good day in the gym, ike i did friday, and then on Saturday im' so groggy and lethargic i can't go to the gym and then im' like screw it i will go to mcdonalds


help me someone plese lol.