"I so much want things to be different for the kids. I love spending time with my children but its a lot to have to always keep them distracted. Living with an alcoholic spouse is kind of like a second job." (aspen1970)
^^^^^ this is so sad.^^^^^^^^^^
Do you really believe it's healthy for you and your kids to stay in this situation?
There is a high probability these kids will grow up to think this is an acceptable way of life and before you know it they will be living in a situation as you currently are, or the will be causing the situation.
You are not trapped, you are just a bit stuck, but you can get yourself and your kids to a better place.
In your current state of mind your are future tripping about things that haven't even happened yet. No wonder you are feeling like the situation is hopeless.
If you truly want things to be better, you will need to get proactive.
Your children do not deserve to live in an addicted home, and neither do you.
Keep posting , we are here with you.