I have known several people whose only bottom was death. It is terrible to watch someone destroy themselves. It sounds very painful to continue to watch this spiral. Is it possible for you to step away and stop watching him spiral? I've been there where I keep watching even though it is painful. My addicted step-daughter continues to spiral. I kept thinking she'd finally reached her bottom. I thought maybe jail was her bottom. (It wasn't.) it is obvious that homelessness isn't a bottom for her either. (She's been homeless for several months now.) sometimes, I find myself checking up on her--I look her up on the Internet to see her latest arrest. It just leaves me thinking about how awful it is. I don't know if I'm watching for something that seems hopeful? I guess part of it is I feel some relief when they put her in jail for a couple of days because I know where she is and that she is safe.
It's good that you feel detached, but it's still hard to watch. For me, I may feel detached for awhile, and then something will set off a wave of emotions. Take care.