WoW. I am so sorry to hear about your daughter, and am sending prayers and blessings that she heals soon.
All I can say is that I feel you. My xah was the same way. He wanted what he wanted and never really tried to co-parent. It can really make one very angry that you do everything for your kid, and I mean EVERYTHING, and the addicts are just completely clueless. They have no clue how to be a father or husband. It is sad.
The only thing I can say (which is hard) is stick to your boundries and just accept the fact that this is who he is. It is probably safe to assume that his demands are not really about seeing his daughter, more about trying to control you and/or the situation. The threats are to get you to give in. The blame is to deflect so he doesn't have to take any responsibility. It is the most difficult thing dealing with an addict because basically there is no rationalizing. There is no compromise. There is no integrity. You are not dealing with a healthy human soul. You are dealing with someone who is very sick. Which is why most on this site suggest no contact. Which may not be an option as you have a child together. So, how can you not let him hurt and anger you? How can you not let him make you sad and depressed? Those are the answers you can only find and discover by healing yourself. Focusing on you and your daughter. It is REALLY hard. Trust me, I went thru it with my x. Maybe just understanding where he is coming from is the first step in letting his chatter go in one ear and out the other.
I really hope your child gets better quickly. take care.