Originally Posted by
fedupbeyondall 
But isn't it logical that if someone is telling you how you affect them that some part of you would realize that what you're doing isn't working? Or is that where I steered wrong? Logic doesn't really seem to play into alcoholism very well huh?
My husband realizes at least to some degree what he's doing is so awful...to himself, to others. But he lies to himself. I've witnessed that his lies to himself run so deep that I'm convinced he actually believes them. To alleviate his negative feelings, which he has no tools to cope with, he makes up excuses and lies to himself, and then convinces himself of them. Because it is THAT HARD for him to face it. He feels justified enough in his own pain that he will justify anything. Actually that made me think of a study I read about years ago (before him, more evidence of my dorkery, I read about these things...) that said the human brain will justify just about anything. In his mind, likely mostly if not completely unconsciously, he is protecting himself. From pain. But I know he's trading it for more pain. But when drunk, he feels relaxed. Glad one of us does...
I've pointed out to him that it's also easier to talk about quitting while drunk! Because he feels better while drunk! While sober, all he can think about is getting drunk, I'm sure!
Edited because Swype sucks lol