brightstar, First, let me say that I don't want to overstep any medical and diagnostic rules of this fourm. I did not take any antidepressants when I experienced grief due to loss of a significant relationship and death of a spouse.
Especially with the loss of the relationship (he broke up with me because I couldn't have more children--I had 3 from my previous marriage/he was younger than me and wanted his own children/we were planning to get married) I was just devastated. I cried rivers and then I cried oceans. I had waves of grief and sadness. I cried on my way to work every morning. It was very acute in the beginning.
I am telling you this because this type of crying is considered normal. To think a lot about the relationship is normal---esp. at alone times. I prayed for the pain to leave!
Of course, it did---eventually, in it's own time. The first 6wks was the very worst. I managed to get to my very stressful job and do the things I HAD to do--but, I was a crying mess in between. It took me 6mo. to get past it in a major way. Wen I met the man that was to become my husband---I really didn't look back---although, I still had occasional sad and very nostalgic memories for about another year. I discussed these feeling/memories with my new love and that was soo healing for me. I didn't love him anymore--just nostalgic memories for the whole event. Everyone's grief has it's own pattern--but, that was mine.
I will say that, in addition to the crying, I worked hard to get past the pain with some letting go techniques. (I had a book about "letting go" (LOL).
I think it is very important to know that grief and depression are not the same things---although it IS possible to have both simultaneously---this is where your professionals can help you. I have heard it described that grief is the presence of intense feelings and depression is the absence of feelings (feeling flat). Both are uncomfortable--for sure.
It is o.k. to cry a lot. Go ahead--it lets the pressure out. Talk about it to sympathetic people (at appropriate times). Be around other people and friends as much as you possibly can. Stay as busy and active as you can. Invent things to do!!!! And, start to make changes--get your hair restyled--loose 10lbs.---buy a new bedspread and re-arrange the furniture. Adopt a kitty. etc........
You will get through this. It doesn't feel like it....but, just know that you will.
dandylion