Welcome to SR, AllyKat. I am sorry for the situation that brings you here, but educating yourself and talking about your options really helps with the tough choices.
albeit a very high functioning one. He drinks every day, starting first thing in the morning. He does this to feel normal,
This isn't high functioning. Alcoholism is progressive, and if he is drinking first thing in the morning and drinking to feel normal - he's definitely progressing into the latter stages of it.
High functioning is a stage, not a term. He won't be functioning forever.
Recently, he told me we are on "thin ice" because I'm no longer his friend in life, but just a nagging wife. He tells me all the time that I'm the reason he drinks, and even says he does it to spite me.
Remember this. You don't CAUSE him to drink, you can't CONTROL it, and you can't CURE it. Other wise known as the three C's.
He drinks because he's an alcoholic. It is what they do.
I'm 26 and I don't have that much time in my life to get married, buy a house, have children, etc.
Hon, you have plenty of time - at least 15 more years before you are considered "geriatric" in ob/gyn terms. What would you rather have - kids and a house with a drunk? Or kids and a house with an emotionally present and available partner?
So I suppose what I'm asking is for any advice on a different way I can approach the issue with him without nagging or getting mad. I can't rightly just end things without trying another method, and I don't want to lose everything we've built.
Try Al-Anon meetings. Give yourself some time and continue reading about alcoholism. Attend some open AA meetings too. Talk with other recovering alcoholics. And be quiet when he tries to pick a fight with you, especially if he's got a drink in his hand or obviously intoxicated. Leave if you have to. Don't engage with an angry drunk!
And think real hard about your own future. This is your one shot at this life. How do you want it to look from this day forward? Because believe me, you don't want to come back here 10, 15 years from now with a mortgage and a couple kids in tow, saying what the hell happened to my youth and my choices?!
Keep reading, keep posting.
Peace,
~T