Living with an Alcoholic
Hi,
I just posted my story in the new to the site page, but I'll recap here briefly. I'm just looking for some advice and support in dealing with my situation. I currently live with my common-law husband of 4 years, and he is a alcoholic, albeit a very high functioning one. He drinks every day, starting first thing in the morning. He does this to feel normal, and doen't get drunk all the time. Recently, he told me we are on "thin ice" because I'm no longer his friend in life, but just a nagging wife. He tells me all the time that I'm the reason he drinks, and even says he does it to spite me. I've done lot of reading on alcoholism, and I realize that I have been handling this the wrong way. Nagging, yelling and getting upset only makes the drinking worse. But I don't know how else to go about this. We have been talking about getting married and having children, but obviously I cannot do this with him drinking the way he does. He says he will not go to counselling, and I haven't even mentioned the word rehab to him. He thinks that because he's so high functioning, still goes to work and takes care of business, that this is not as big a problem as I'm making it. He knows it's an issue, though I think. He doesn't understand why he needs to stop drinking before we try for kids, and says he'll stop as soon as I get pregnant, but I have obvious doubts and would never risk it. I love him so much and I don't want to leave, but I'm 26 and I don't have that much time in my life to get married, buy a house, have children, etc. So I suppose what I'm asking is for any advice on a different way I can approach the issue with him without nagging or getting mad. I can't rightly just end things without trying another method, and I don't want to lose everything we've built. I suffer from anxiety and all of this uncertainty is really getting into my head. He's started talking about living abroad for a while, and that's not the life we promised each other. Everything is falling apart. Any advice on how I can approach this differently would be so greatly appreciated! Thank you all!