It will never be your turn if you're waiting on the A to change things. The first love of an A is alcohol. You will smile, be happy, plan your life, and achieve the things you want when YOU decide you're worth it. There is nothing you can do for him, it is his right to choose this path. You can't be there every day to save him from himself. As long as you do that, enable him in his disease, there is not much chance of recovery for him.
What about your child? You grew up with the disease, do you want that same future for your child? Or do you want to break the cycle, and give your son a chance at a healthy future. Your AH can't be there for his son, but you can. Plenty of AlAnon meetings have baby sitting. You need those meetings for you, and you certainly don't need his permission to attend. You are not his hostage, those meetings are to help you.