Hello and welcome.
I'm no apologist for parents, trust me. But I do recognize that everyone, including my own parents, have been through difficulties.
Ultimately you have to take responsibility for yourself.
For the record my mother and I aren't really in contact currently.
Does that mean she hasn't been through anything? No. Does that invalidate all of the nightmarish years I had growing up, with both of them? No. Am I affected by my upbringing? Yes. Do I try to grow beyond it? Yes.
Self awareness is a great first step. No one is 100% perfect and self aware. But an effort is better than none.
I do have some anger from my upbringing.
Then again as an adult I have made some poor choices myself. So, is it ok just because I had an abusive upbringing? If it is, then I guess how my parents were must be ok too, since they too experienced struggles.