Even though I think he did you a favor, I feel for your pain. I think you were correct in wondering if he ever loved you in the first place. The moment you challenged his alcohol he turned on you. That is not love. From what I know and have read, alcoholics are very selfish people. I can definately see the difference in mine, sober and not. I am terrified to be alone. I do not want to be a single mom. I do not want my income cut in half. I do not want to loose my hsbands family, as I have none of my own. I do not want to sleep alone. I do not want to loose my best friend. I don't want to admit that I wasted 9 years of my life and love (OK not waste because I have and angel out of the deal) But in the end I have to think of my child and my own sanity. It is time for me to get off the coaster and onto all the "I don't wants". By dumping you he just saved you all that heart ache. I really sounds like you need to put your love and attention on yourself. I think you can never be happy in a relationship if you can not be happy with yourself. None of us are perfect but we all have something that makes us important and valuable to someone and if your boyfriend can not see it, then **** on him. But you have to be able to see or no one else can. You are so worthy of your own love and someday you will find a man that is worthy of you.