alcohol/drugs do NOT cause bad behavior. Bad behavior is bad behavior, and there's no excuse for it. Liars lie; thieves steal; abusers abuse.....etc. Some may be alcoholic/addict; some may not; makes no difference.
Ditto Tuffgirl -- alcohol abuse actually causes changes in the frontal lobe of the alcoholic (old link here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...onder-why.html) which is the area where judgments, pros and cons, and sound decision-making happens. So it DOES change behaviors.
Does it matter? I guess it depends. If you're talking about "am I doing something wrong in leaving this dude when he's
really only suffering from a disease and he
really didn't try to kill me?" -- no. It wouldn't matter if he had a brain tumor and tried to kill you. You have every right, regardless of reason, to remove yourself from
any situation you don't like. Even if he's
not physically abusive but just a pain to be around.
Does it matter if you're wondering if you should allow a solidly recovering addict back in your life? It might. I mean, some of our most solidly wise people here at SR were once actively drinking and (according to their own testimony) lying and being mean.