Go to an al-anon meeting, just becasue you don't have a problem with alcohol, does not mean that you would not benefit from al-anon. I like to say that I wish I had found al-anon while growing up as it is a wonderful way to live. You mentioned you keep choosing the wrong men and that they make you feel jealous and insecure, well..... learn how to choose the right men by learning about yourself, improving your self esteem and finding out what makes you tick....it isn't being with a man or partner....it is in being secure and comfortable with yourself. Once you get there, people will beat down your door to want to be with you....31 is mighty young to me to be throwing in the towel for a lifetime of happiness. Generally, "sick" people find "sick" people and it takes quite a while to unlearn "sick" behaviors, but consider attending a meeting as an investment in yourself...you deserve it and you deserve to be happy, alone or with a man. By the way, look how far relying on someone else for happiness has gotten you........what a double edged sword love can be. Take a breather, go to a meeting, come here, and focus on yourself...everything else will eventually fall in to place....."well" people find "well" people just the same. I wouldn't change my AH for anything (mainly because I can't), not a single of his faults.....but I won't stick around if he crosses the boundaries I have set for acceptable behavior toward me and my children. I also am secretly thankful that his being an alcoholic led me to discover my issues and work on them....my side of the street is getting cleaner every day and I am certainly proud of the shine and happy that I have accomplished it....regardless of what my AH does. I agree..... alone is better than anything many of the people on here have endured in the name of love. It bothered me that my AH was driving drunk, but it didn't really hit home until I was out driving one day and came to the realization that he could kill me just as well as any other person out there....shows a lot of love for me huh? Broken hearts heal, but when you're dead....you're dead...and for many of us here that was or is a real possiblity. Some A's are like ticking time bombs, others are like rollercoaster rides that never end....neither of those sounds fun too me....and if I were in your shoes, I would be very glad the ride stopped and you could get off, even if you vomit anyway.....Sorry for the pain this has caused you and I hope you find your way. Good luck and god bless.