As you explain, Obladi, I too became weiry of being just a by-stander in my own life process....if I was down on myself in my thoughts about drinking, knowing it was not a good thing, but doing it anyway, that's where my energy went.
Now, after a mere couple of weeks, most of the compulsive thinking about the drink
have lifted and I am realizing that my negative thoughts have been programed internally
in general for years and some of it pre-destines me to a bipolar flip-flop. So, for me, it is a need to be constantly vigilant of my relentless thoughts and to use a process of just letting them go and asking that the "return" be noble, creative, and positive.
I wish you well with your plan. Keep posting, as you can !