@ jerect, you hit the nail on the head! That's exactly what happened: the pain of staying is going to outweigh the pain of leaving. My husband comes home high, leaves to get high, comes home high, leaves to get high. He doesn't go anywhere with me or participate in any activities with me. I have to basically beg him to spend time with me. When he's not high, he's thinking of getting high. He's emotionally abusive, always in a bad mood and ready to bite my head off. He neglects the house, in every possible way. The trash will overflow, laundry will overflow, dishes will overflow. He takes no responsibility what so ever in the upkeep of the pets. And I'm finally to the point where I have acknowledged that there is literally NO reward in my efforts and I'm running on a wheel, getting no where. Nothing will change until I change. It finally freaking clicked!