Thanks, I wish I felt more detached than I do. She has expressed genuine relief in finding this medication, and if it's genuine, I am glad for her, maybe she will find a way to stay sober. The problem, of course, is how many times we have been here - where she again resolves to stay sober, and "this time it's for real." I am glad she has found a new job that she is enthusiastic about, but I find it hard to take any real joy in it, especially since she is so difficult to live with while going through the job search process. I know my inability to respond positively is a behavior I have learned, I just don't know how to let go of the resentment of the insanity leading up to it.
I do realize that splitting up would not cure all of my ills, I obviously still have a long way to go - in letting go of my resentment, and in being able to truly enjoy my life regardless of whatever drama or craziness she (or anyone else) is intent on wallowing in.
I think I am beginning to realize that I have a part to play in this. There is a fine line between empathy, and letting someone else's state of mind invade and take over my own. I have too long tolerated the passive-aggressive behavior and allowed her to exploit my willingness to place her needs above my own - merely because it was easier to go with that flow and avoid more drama than to try to change to a healthier course.