you can start with AA meetings on line, plenty on Skype since you can't sit still at a face to face meeting. get a sponsor, plenty on line as well who can help you and explain to you what the first step is. see different doctors until you get the right Meds for the panic attaks. when one hits "real" bottom, they start taking this sobriety thing seriously regardless of anxiety, fear or panik attaks. seek medical help for your panic attaks, get them out of the way and get busy on becoming who you always knew you could become.