Yep, I got that.
I've been so certain things won't work out that I haven't been able to visualize any long term anything. And really, mid-range anything has been hard to see as well (aside from, of course, status quo).
So the next step is learn to plan a future I can believe in.
For now, I am taking some actions over the course of the next five months that will take me in the direction I want to go. I figure once I start getting (back) into the habit of doing, I will be in a better place to start visualizing, perhaps all the way into the coming year.
So starting, today, the actions I am taking are:
* Be a regular mom who does regular mom and head of household things on a regular basis
* Work on becoming more physically fit
* Get a good night's sleep!
Staying off the booze is a necessary first step.
This is easy today, even though I'm
not hung over. (Now there's a change.)
But I know myself well enough to know it won't necessarily be easy tomorrow or a week from now or even an hour from now.
I'm hoping that posting this will help to solidify my resolve.
I also think that if I keep coming to SR no matter what and actually posting about "my stuff," it will help keep me accountable.