JettBoy

Well,after a busy day at work and dinner with my partner who's barely speaking to me and his mom,I came home,crawled into bed and laid here.i can't sleep,part of the withdrawal thing is no sleep.i go back to my doctor on Tuesday ,I'm going to give the suboxone one last try. I had my pharmacist hold it and I went in and picked it up every other day,that seemed to work well,it's when I take matters into my own hands is when the problems arise.I'm going to have to be straight with my doc which is not an easy thing for me ever.I'm hoping she doesn't cut me off but if she does well maybe it's the way it's supposed to be.I'm feeling really alone,my partner tends to shut down and not talk when these things go down,I understand its his way of coping but it just makes me feel worse than I already do. I think he's at the point that he's really almost done with me and my bs,I don't know if I could handle a breakup at this point. We have been engaged for two years and I told him once I had a year clean we'd get married,haven't made the year yet. So many feelings and emotions and feeling ****** on top of everything else doesn't help anything at all,I know I have to keep my head up and keep plugging forward.i feel like even the cat is mad at me.lol I guess the only thing to do is read what. U guys write back to me and keep doing work,not just saying it but actually doing something,I'm really hoping this is doing something.i appreciate all the feedback,it makes me feel not so alone...