Originally Posted by
NYCDoglvr 
It's good that you realize you continually pick alcoholics who are as capable of handling a relationship as a ten year old child. What saved my sanity was Alanon, a wonderful 12 Step programs for people involved with alcoholics. And reading "Codependent No More". Keep posting about your relationship -- I'm sure lots of people will identify with you. I worked very hard Alanon and therapy, learned to stop getting involved with alcoholics. I run from them today because I've learned to value myself more. Life is too short for destructive relationships! Good luck!
Amen sister. Al Anon really saved my sanity and I hope that the OP enjoys it and get as much out of it as we did.
RRY, your boyfriend threw a tantrum (that's exactly what it is) because you starting to take care of yourself and going to Al Anon marks the beginning of the end for the madness.
He is still in denial and being lumped with those "guys" is really a slap to his ego. I hope you will keep ignoring his tantrums and keep taking care of number one, setting boundaries and learning to dream again for yourself.
Ps: Great post Dandylion. It describes how I used to be to a T. I have the feeling that as RRY takes care of herself, makes some new supportive friends and learn some new tools she will find the courage to turn the yet into a now. For us, codependents, getting better is a process. It does not happen overnight.