I'm late in replying but wanted to add my support. I've been through intense depression and trauma, so I have lots of hope for you too. We are so much stronger than we realize and so much more resilient.
Congrats on having been sober for 12 weeks. You still have that experience. You know how to be sober for 12 weeks. And we gain knowledge each time around. You know more now about staying sober. Make small steps if you need too. What small thing can you do that is nurturing for yourself?