Almost knocked on his damn door tonight
I know he's still on his bender. His car never or rarely moves. Found myself on the way back from a date in his driveway. Took every ounce of strength I had to pull the car back out and drive away. I did it. But I'm still feeling weak. Want to text him or contact him. I miss the good guy. ****!!! I hate these kind of moments. I'm doing so well, and then BAM! Like a brick freaking wall, I'm overcome with emotion.
I'm OK. I'm OK. Just needed to vent and get some support. There's nothing there but a mean drunk who would probably hurt me if I stopped. I'm insane to even imagine otherwise. And yet, here I am, blabbing away with my childish codependent needs. I'm sorry.
I wish to GOD I DIDN'T GIVE A CRAP!!