He feels like my drug.
Bingo! It's codependent obsession and I promise that it passes if you work a good program. I strongly suggest Alanon, which saved my sanity and taught me to avoid people who bring pain into my life. Like the alcoholic we also have to deal with denial and rationalization. It's a process and it sounds like you're ready to start on a program of recovery. The answer is in YOU not in him.