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Old 07-04-2013, 08:20 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
freshstart57
Self recovered Self discovered
 
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
This AVRT is a mind game, and you get to make up aaaaall the rules, so you can't help but win.

I imagined that my AV was like an old girlfriend I once had that made me miserable at the end. She lied to me, she cheated on me, she stole from me, she made me feel like a piece of rubbish. Just like vodka, check check check and check. What would I do if she were ever to appear at my door? Absolutely nothing. I would smile, look away and close the door, because there is absolutely nothing that would ever make me have anything to do with her ever again. No engagement, no discussion, no arguments, no tears, no emotion, all that has already happened and I will have no more of it.

So, I decided that since I had done this scorched earth separation thing before, I could do it again. I did it with alcohol.

I know that some of us have used another image, maybe a three year old in their care that wants chocolate and crisps and is throwing a temper tantrum at every opportunity. Most kids get a time out until they settle down and understand that when Mum says no, she means it. On the other hand, throwing candy at a child to stop the screaming only leads to more demands, and attempts at reasoning with unreasonable demands is pointless.

What I am getting at is that you get to choose how you separate from your AV. You are in control of your actions. Keep that Big Plan in mind, your vow to remain sober for good, no matter what. Believe that you are able to deal with any eventuality and set your confidence in yourself all the way up to 11.

You are doing just great, SunnyC5. It will get easier for you as time goes on, but when you are challenged by your AV as you will be, it is still of no matter. The reason that it doesn't matter what your AV does, is simply that you have that BP firmly in place.

There is a certain peace that comes from knowing that your AV really is powerless, not you. It is powerless over you, because you say so, and when Mum says no, she means it. Onward!
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