Welcome Human
I'm really sorry for your struggles. Life can really through us some tough ones sometimes.
I was successful in my career - then my body and health started to rebel against me - I was effectively 'retired' at 30.
so I drank a little more and turned to my second career of music - and then, after a few years, lost that career cos the drinking got too much.
Can't remember much of the years after that - but I got sober and I've stayed that way since.
Still have my health issues - but life is good
I hope you'll come to find your new sober life is so good it helps heal the pain of the old one.
Glad you found us