Rose56, thanks it felt right even though I felt like I was being mean! I have often thought about the whole seperating thing......except the fact that I don't feel he has anywhere to go ...(codie I know) I keep telling myself he will make it right or he will make it worse and that is when we will end.......guess I am just not there yet, to kick him out for good (as I did about a year ago for just over a month) . In due time I keep saying...in the mean time I guess I take him for what he is worth...there is plenty good about him but yes the controlling issuse have to stop.......I think as part of my NEW YEAR that will be high on my list.....do things that please me !! not that he wants me to do! thanks~