wylderose

Just left a relationship due to alcohol/pot addiction. Dealing with heartache and loneliness but taking care of myself in healthy ways, including my meditation practice, reading dozens of books, articles, blogs, and websites on the subject. I fell in love big time, and it doesn't happen often for a widow of 66. So now, I'm here for support: both to give and to receive. Am learning a lot. Some days I have perspective and some acceptance. Other days, like yesterday, I can only cry. Didn't know I was capable of so many tears. But the emotional catharsis helps, too. In some ways, it's good that we have had a long distance relationship. I live in OR and he lives in CA. It made it easier for ABF to hide out, but our real-time, in person relationship revealed the extent of the problem. I am also in an addiction recovery book circle through my Buddhist sangha. Extremely helpful for me to look at my OWN addiction/compulsion around the relationship. I thought I went to learn about HIM, but, of course, it's about me, too. thanks for being here, all your courageous people!