This particular post I want to write about my introduction to heroin. I feel it plays a part even today and perhaps someone with a sharp brain out there will read this and have something insightful to say. Anyway, here it is:
I was in my third year in university. I used to smoke pot and sometime i would have a beer or two. But rarely. Also, I used to love doing LSD. other drugs i did not care for. Then one day a friend of mine picked me up and said he wanted to go try something new and he had a weird grin on his face. I asked him what did he have in mind and he said he wanted to try heroin. Up till that point I had thought that heroin could only be injected and I was and still am totally against needles. So i begged him not to go for it, but he insisted. I did not know about the manner in which addiction takes place nor about the physical withdrawals of the drug. I had heard stuff about not being psychologically able to stop once you start and again i was not going to try it because i hated needles and i still begged my friend to not do this drug. I remember saying to him that we have done all drugs known to mankind, lets just leave this alone, ive heard too many bad things (though nothing in detail, nor was i interested in them then). But he did not budge so i said i would babysit him if need but would not do it myself and we proceeded to another friends place who was a junkie. We picked him up and went to the dealer and he got a gram of smack. Once back in the car he started to roll up a cigarette and that is when i found out that H is also smokable, my favorite way to do a drug in the first place, so i decided that i would have a few hits. We all shared one cigarette and i got the buzz as if i had smoked a lot of pot and that is all. so i got interested. A few days after, this time I insisted on trying it again and my friend and I went and scored some more. Mind you, smack here in my country is dirt cheap and very pure, i mean, we do border Afghanistan so go figure. And this time we rolled a few cigarettes and shared them. That was the first time I got a proper opiate buzz that I was aware of. And I Loved It! unfortunately...
Another unfortunate thing was that one time or a couple of uses dont give you withdrawals otherwise perhaps i wouldve backed the **** up. But no, for 6 months I used H every few days sometimes even more till one night I woke up in sweats and realized that I was withdrawing. I said to myself that I was done using the drug and fell back to sleep immediately. But that was not the case. Perhaps after a few days I started smoking it again. And after that everyone who is an addict knows how the story goes. But till date I still think back that only if Heroin was not smokable or that If that friend only injected or something, things wouldve been so much better and different. But of course, it was not meant to be like that.
I still have not hit rock bottom which makes it harder for me to just quit all drugs the way 12 steps recommends it nor do i see the sense in it. Im still not sure if AVRT supports the same argument. Hence I have given myself the time period of 40 days from today to quit heroin for good. No more dabbling as i end up doing nowadays every few weeks. Never ever again. And I will never ever change my mind about it. That is a cert. But as far as pot and the rest of my interests in the drug world go, I am still giving it some thought. My next post will explain the situation better. The post where I explain why I believe pot and booze are not bad but good for me. Not the most popular opinion in the world, but that is the one I hold.
I love you all who listen and give me feedback. No ********, no sugarcoating, no nothing. That is what I need. And for that, Thank you