sandiphoto...
Welcome to SR, this is a great site.
Each person is different, even alcoholics, however I know from being around AA and Al-Anon that people in treatment centers and people in AA become attracted to each other. (There seems to be alcoholic insanity when drinking, but I suspect there is, "trying to stay sober insanity also"). The A is haveing a terrible time, some have no idea who or what they are without the alcohol .
It is sad and unfair that the wife has to be understanding and patient, but men are who they are, and they are different.
Yes, I know of some A's that divorced, but more choose the wife.
None if us know what the outcome will be.
I hope you will go to Al-Anon, read all the posts on this site, sometimes Al-Anon is confusing, so try different groups, but this will give you a face to face support. Then find a sponser, someone to call on phone and go to coffee. Talking helps, also post on this site, it really helps, and we all understand and care.
Might I suggest, just wait before trying to decide what to do. My thought only.
The AA people warn against any relationship changes for a year while getting sober.
Does your hubby have a sponser ??? They usually fuss at any relationships in AA.
Maybe someone will talk to them. Sorry to say but relationships in AA usually ends up with one or the other going back to drinking. Take care of you for now, and read everything.
Always remember to take what you can use and leave the rest.
HUGS thelma