Old 12-26-2004, 02:37 AM
  # 79 (permalink)  
bekahontas
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Orange, TX
Posts: 1
Jenna, I'm Bekah, a bi-polar patient and, (if I'm honest, a sporatic addict also.) It's true, anti-depressants alone can and will throw you into an acute mania. Those manias seem fun and productive now, but they get progresively more destructive. It seems that most mood stabilizers have side-effects, some more sismal than others. I am weight conscience, so I refuse to take Lithium, Depakoate, and most antidepressants. What I have found to be satisfactory for me is a"last resort" mood-stabilizer called Topomax, (300 mg.) I also take 140 mg Geodon, which takes some getting used to but seems worthwhile. I take 300 mg Wellbutrin in the AM, as it does give energy, and then I take 20 mg Lexapro, an antidepressant with low side-effects of weight gain. Oh, about the sleep thing: IMPORTANT! If you're like most BPs, sleep is an issue. I demanded,(uh, pleaded,) with my pdoc to give me Ambien to help me sleep at night. I study Taekwondo, so there's my excercise. My instructor is aware of my illness, so when I am having "issues" with my moods, he treats me with tenderness. My advice to you is to go to the county mental health facility and have a public break-down. It's true; They'll dismiss you if you don't seem to have an urgent need. I've been hospitalizized twice because I fainally gave myself permission to get honest with those very caregivers that proclaim to want to help; I knew that if these people couldn't witness the "real me",(which included suicidal IDEAOLOGY. Not that I would've done it. But they didn't know that. Once you mention that you are losing your will to live, they become liable to seek help for you. Jenna, I am the queen of "putting on a competant face". I imagine you have mastered the same talent. Well girl... you're lying, you know. You ARE NOT ok. And that's OK, baby girl. Love Bekah
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