zoso, I just got thru with a fabulous book, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry and one of the conclusions that Harold came to at the end of the story was that people ARE. they live, they do what they do and sometimes others get hurt, sometimes they are hurt by others, we all carry pain and memory and sometimes those pains and those memories cause us to act in ways we don't even truly realize, we try so hard to blot them out that we can no longer SEE clearly.
it is good you CAN take an objective stance, without disregarding your own feelings. and so kind of you to include her in your prayers.