Welcome to the forums! Most of us have dealt with the problem of drinking in order to soften hard times and events in our lives. I did that for a long time. But let me tell you, from personal experience, it is possible to stop drinking and deal with the grief. It has been over four years since I have had a drink and I hardly think about it. This past two years, I have dealt with my mother going through a serious, drawn out illness and eventually passing away in front of me. My father-in-law passed away last month. Some other major issues with work have come up, but never did I think about returning to alcohol as a solution.
I just wanted to share that it is possible to get to the point where you don't even think about it. When you recognize that there is an addicted part of your brain that craves the alcohol over anything, you can then tell that part to shut up and leave you alone. It is possible.