Thank you so much everyone for the very warm welcome. Im feeling a lot more confident. I will try to go 24 hours with out a drink, and I will look into getting my meds from walmart. I can get the antidepressants from them but my DR refuses to refill my ativan for anxiety. He wants me to see a shrink first... fun times. I will work on forming a plan for recovery.. and trying to figure out how to tell my fiance I have a problem. I don't have a license.. so he is the only way i get alcohol.. and if he knows I have a problem I know he wont get it for me anymore.. and that makes me feel powerless.. and I don't want to feel powerless.