Hi, pals)
You know, ability of a human being to recover the spirit always amuses me. A couple of days ago I almost lost my ground and didn't see any light, and the tunnel seemed to be endless.
Today I am bouncing back and resurrect again.
My beast was quiet today, it started its usual routine in the morning, but somewhat faded away.
My beast is always loud and has great chances to win over when I react to fear and the wave of anxiety smashes me from within and I need something to "amortize" it. So I used to choose food.
Now, while I am learning to deal with my fears and walk through them, I am trying to let these waves just go through me and die.
I am developing a fresh view of myself. As, I am a human being, personality, with my "memory matrix" and past. But I am also a part of the Universe, a piece of energy. My body is built of the same staff as stars and galaxies. And I can just let all these emotions go through me without hurting me.
I am also trying to "split" emotions and facts when I am dealing with challenging issues. I peel out it and see pure facts and let emotions go. I am free to feel emotions when I am exercising, watching a good movie, or talk to a good friend. But no more shame, worries, anxiety attached to issues. I've suffered enough from it.
Jeni, thank you for reminding. And I did keep plugging away with my worries list. I wrote off another one, and feeling much better. Though these things are not "big ones" yet, I am learning to face the issues I've been procrastinating about for a long time, and thus wiping away fear and leaving less and less chances to the Beast to get to me.
And I am so glad to get back to exercising! The Beast hates them)
Jeni - great approach about looking back at your day and not beating up yourself allowed!
Bloss - doctors are my sore point as well. I have some health issues and every time I freak out that they will grow bigger. I hope your bloodwork will be ok. Don't listen to this nasty voice - you and your body deserve great healthy sources of energy. Not because someone wanted you to be slim in the past, because it's your choice to treat yourself to great, delicious, and yet healthy food which will provide you with energy and good mood. Hold on, my friend).
Azureseas - how are you doing today?
It's about half past midnight at my place, so I'll see you all tomorrow)