Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
I absolutely second Mike here. He will do what he does. So you do what you do; continue to be authentic to yourself and then to your girls. They will appreciate it when they are older.
I also think there is nothing wrong with feeling some sweet vindication in his screw-ups. So what if you took some "joy" in his Father's Day debacle anyway? Here's a good response to that crap: "perhaps" with a wicked grin. You neither confirm nor deny.
Keep feeding him the proverbial rope, WTBH. He's tying his own noose right now - its only a matter of time before he is dangling from it.
And lastly, I must steal the line used in a recent thread (and my apologies to who said it because I don't remember now, but it was pure brilliance!). Don't take on a diagnosis from an alcoholic.
What bothers me most with his venom and nastiness is that I'd have been THRILLED to have him show up and make the girls happy. There was a time several years ago that I did have a few moments of being glad that he acted like a scum bag bc it gave me "evidence" that he wasn't being a good guy...
NOTHING hurts like seeing my kids hurt and I got no happiness at all out of seeing him screw up because the girls are the ones who suffered. Not him, not me. Two little girls who stood at the window thinking every car that went by was him until I finally suggested we go to breakfast ourselves...
So, it angers me that he thinks and would accuse me of finding joy in his f' up because I felt nothing but sadness and hurt all day-- I wish I'd felt joy or even anger. That would have been more comfortable I think...