Thanks zoso. I was completely fine for the rest of the weekend. The last two nights have not been so good. I've been having dreams about him now thinking about him way too much. Not missing him. Just can't shake him out of my head. My daughter is with her dad this week so I've had way more free time to think. I suppose this is normal. I thought I was handling the run in without caring at all but it was a delayed reaction.
The worse part is thinking back to all the times I took him back and saying to myself "what the hell were you thinking Madison!!" I've been reading these boards more the last few days. It helps remind me where I was and how truly insane both of us became. None of it is more insane than the fact I couldn't or wouldn't see it while I was in it. I've been thinking about my behavior in that relationship and how off balance, sick and twisted I started to become. I've been thinking of how I became a shell. I've been thinking more about me instead of his behavior and its tough.
This is difficult. I guess I gave myself a little too much credit for being stronger than I was. Urgh.