I am mostly 2 and somewhat 3. I am very outspoken anyway, so I would let him have it whenever he was sober and boy was I a great NAG. If he was sober and I had his full attention, I would go on and on and on....while he sat there and never reacted. (I'm pretty sure he got good at tuning me out.)
Also, that brings to what other people said about the alcoholic not caring about what happened. This was frustrating. I would look at him seeing no emotion or caring and think to myself, "you must be a serial killer because I see dead eyes and the feeling of so what?"
Well, anyway, to Lizzy777 and wraybear. I did leave my husband and separated after 17 years. It was the absolute hardest and most gut wrenching decision I ever made. I understand wraybear, it's just not that easy to say, ok, I'm out of here. Nope. The times weren't all bad and we had some wonderful family times and special times. Unfortunately, you are the only one that can make that decision. After he shoved my daughter, that's when my last straw was. BUT, now that I am away from him, I am still fighting my co-dependency, the daily feelings of warmth towards him, the confusing thoughts if I did the right thing, and on and on.
Thanks to these posts, alanon, and AA.. I am starting to make sanity out of insanity, but I realize that it's going to take a long time to work on this. And, even though, I am separated from him, believe me, it doesn't end there! Lots of work to do, but each day gets a tiny bit better. Just tiny, but a little further than I have been.
Thanks.
Sam