You are telling my story...just that I 'woke up' at age 45 when my father died...before that, it was all just wondering why they acted like that...and caring for them...more than enough. Have come to understand that that was my condition for being in the family...doing and being there emotionally for all...while being perfect on the outside. So much happier today 13 years after Dad died...he died of codependency health related issues...made myself a promise not to do so...working on it.